The French Kiss Mistake
by debraelq
Summary: When Jensen and Jared find themselves in a parallel universe where Supernatural is real, several problems arise. 1. How are they going to get home? 2. Acting like brothers when Jensen has a touching problem is impossible. 3. Real Cas is hot, and Jensen needs to seriously keep his hands to himself. 4. Wait, we have to kill things? J2/Misha Jensen/Cas. Rating increased to M.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Let's face it, this is crack. Pure craziness. And the closest thing to Wincest I will probably ever get. I'm still working on Trial by Error and adding more to An Innocent Man, but this idea just wouldn't let go. Hope you enjoy. Also standard disclaimer. I don't own these characters and don't really know anything about these actors. This is just for fun. Also imagine there are no wives or little ones. Just easier that way. The rating is T but it will go up as the chapters progress.

Chapter 1

"Let's do that again. And this time could you guys try to remember that you're brothers?"

Jensen removed his hand from Jared's arm, smiling apologetically at the director. They did the take several more times before the man was finally satisfied. He followed his fellow actor off the set with a sigh of relief.

"This is all your fault, you know."

Jared gave him a confused stare. "How's it my fault? You're the one with the touching problem."

Jensen started to say something, and then thought better of it. Trudging off to his trailer instead. As expected Jared followed.

"Seriously, Jensen. How is this my fault?"

"Because this whole thing was your idea in the first place."

A blank stare followed his accusation. He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"This…" he said, indicating the two of them.

"No. That would make it your fault."

"How do you figure?" Jensen asked. "You made the first move."

With a smirk, the taller man stepped closer. "Because you're too irresistible," he said kissing him lightly. "Too delicious." Another kiss, this one lasting a bit longer. "Too damn hot." This time the kiss was hard, needy, and involved quite a bit of tongue. Any protest Jensen had died immediately. They didn't have much time, and he wanted to make the most of every minute.

An hour later, they were walking back to the make-up tent, trying and failing to look innocent. They passed by Bob Singer, who could be heard mumbling to his assistant.

"I liked it better when they didn't talk to each other."

"I'm not sure they're doing much talking…"

Jensen tried to keep a straight face as Bob glared at the kid. When the show first started, he was careful not to piss anyone off. But this was the 9th season. What are they going to do? Kill Dean off… again… but this time for real? Not likely.

"Hey, Misha," Jared said, waving to their friend who was heading for the set.

The other man smiled widely, but it only lasted for a second. Then his eyes were calculating, causing him to look more like his character.

"Oh man," he said. "You guys started without me. Not cool."

"Don't worry," Jensen said with a grin and a wink. "We'll make it up to you. Later."

Instead of being happy, Misha looked even more annoyed, as he glanced down at himself and back up at them. "How am I supposed to work now?"

The guys laughed as they wandered off to the make-up chairs. Messing with Misha when he was working was one of their favorite things to do. Not their all-time favorite… that was reserved for another form of messing with Misha. One that involved nudity and lots and lots of touching. And on occasion a sock monkey puppet.

The day seemed to take forever. Jensen was tired, and all he could think about was getting alone with his too favorite men. He and Jared had one more shot and they could call it a day. He'd been good, too. Very professional. They had to give him brownie points for that. It hadn't been easy with Jared teasing him every chance he got.

"Dean, hand me the blood. It's the last ingredient." In character Jensen nodded, giving him the fake blood of lamb.

Jared, as Sam, dropped the ingredients slowly into the bowl, chanting in Latin as he did so, his eyes closed in concentration.

Jensen's last thought was about how hot he looked, all focused and intense, as the room exploded around him and everything went black.

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that he was in a room. An actual room. With a ceiling and four walls. Jared was passed out on the couch. Otherwise, they were completely alone. No director, no camera crew, no extras or make-up… where did everyone go?

He rushed over to Jared, gently shaking him awake.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Dude, wake up."

As his friend yawned, trying to get his bearings, Jensen glanced around the room.

"Where are we?" Jared asked.

"It looks like the set of Bobby's house. Except it's not a set."

"But that doesn't make any sense. We were just filming… weren't we?"

Curious, Jensen started looking through the books on the shelf. The really old books. "These aren't props. None of this stuff. It's all real."

Jared groaned, getting his attention. He was by his side in an instant.

"You okay?"

"I think I must have hit my head in the blast."

"Here let me see," he said, inspecting his head for injuries.

"Do you think this is a Misha prank?"

"Or Sebastian."

"Or both," they both said together.

"Those bitches." Jensen was already thinking up a counter prank. He had no idea how they pulled this off, but he had to admit, it was good. And they were going to pay dearly for it.

"What do we do now? I'm not even sure where we are."

"Then let's just enjoy the quiet." Jensen smiled as he rubbed the back of Jared's neck fondly. "I'm sure they'll show up sooner or later.

"True," Jared said, leaning back into his touch with a sigh.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Startled they jumped apart, turning toward the door. Their friend and cast-mate was standing there glaring at them.

"Hey, Jim. Honestly we're trying to figure that out ourselves. How much do you know?"

"I know you're talking nonsense, and who's Jim?"

Jared glanced at Jensen and back again. Clearly at a loss. "Um…"

"Did you fall down and hit your head? What the hell's wrong with you two?"

"Actually, I think I did." Jared said.

"Guys, I really don't have time for this," he said with a huff. "I have to pick up Jo and Ellen. While I'm gone…" He stopped, staring at them both. It was then that Jensen realized he was holding Jared's hand. It was an unconscious instinct to reach out to him. Although not everyone on set knew they were together, most… like Jim… suspected. Their friend looked totally surprised though. He quickly let go of Jared's hand.

"Just try not to touch each other so much while I'm gone. It's freaking weird."

They watched him rush out of the room like someone possessed.

"We should go after him."

"Why?" Jensen said. "He's a total cock-blocker."

Jared gave him a pointed look. "He obviously knows what's going on. He said Ellen and Jo. Like the show. He must be a part of whatever this is."

"I didn't think of that." Jensen rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "What if it's not a prank though?"

He stared at him like he was a crazy person. And maybe he was. Maybe it was all an insane dream. That actually made more sense than anything. But, it was so realistic. He wasn't getting his hopes up that he'd wake up anytime soon.

"You think this is real? That Bobby was just here, and we're somehow in the Supernatural world? That's nuts."

"Remember Season 6? The French Mistake?"

"That was a script, Jensen. Things like that don't happen for real. We don't live in a magical world."

"Doesn't mean there isn't one."

"I'm pretty sure, that's exactly what it means."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to figure this out, okay? If it's a prank it's really elaborate. And if Ellen and Jo show up then I don't know what to think. Last I heard Alona was in New York."

"But what's the alternative? That Supernatural is real? That the writers are all prophets getting messages from some alternate universe? Seriously?"

"It does explain Season 7."

"Good point."

Jared sighed heavily, walking over to the window. "I can't tell anything from looking outside. We could be in the Midwest or in Canada."

"There's one sure way to find out," Jensen said.

"I'm not going to like it, am I?"

"We pray to Cas." At Jared's incredulous look, he held up his hand to stop his impending tirade. "Hear me out. Either the real Cas shows up, and we have our answer. Or Misha shows up, laughing his ass off, and we have our answer. Either way…"

"We have our answer," Jared finished. He thought for a few minutes. "You know we're going to be the laughing stock of the whole cast and crew, right? Misha will probably tweet about it."

"Dude, we already are. You don't think they have hidden cameras someplace? They're probably watching us right now, eating popcorn, and laughing it up. Those bastards." He held up his middle finger in salute just in case.

"Fine. Go ahead, pray to Cas."

"Why me?" It was one thing to talk about doing it, but he didn't want to be the actual one 'praying'.

"Profound bond, remember?"

Jensen scowled, but he knew Jared was right. The real Cas was more likely to come if he called. Not that it mattered really. They couldn't really be in an alternate universe. It was too crazy.

Jared smiled at him, as he leaned in for a kiss. "For luck," he said.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He'd done this a thousand times on the show, but now he just felt stupid.

"Um… Castiel, Angel of the Lord or… whatever, get your fine feathery scheming ass down here pronto. We need you."

A swishing sound filled the room, and for a moment, it sounded foreign. It was a sound he'd heard often, only added later into the scene. He didn't have time to dwell on it though, because suddenly the man or angel was there before them, trench coat and all. Jensen glanced over at Jared, knowing his face looked just as shocked.

"Misha?" he said, his voice coming out with a squeak.

The dark haired figure contemplated them for a few seconds before responding. When he did, Jensen knew without a doubt, it was not their friend standing in front of them.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he said, his voice low and gravely. "I don't understand that reference. What's a Misha?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Misha is a jerk," Jared said. "One that doesn't know when a joke's gone too damn far."

"I don't understand." The dark haired stranger glanced over at Jensen.

"I don't think it's Misha."

"Well, it's not Cas either," Jared said. "There's no way."

"You think I'm an imposter."

"Something like that."

"Okay, let's just hold on." Jensen stepped between them, smiling reassuringly at the sexy guy in front of him. Although he was sure it wasn't Misha, he still couldn't grasp the concept that it might be a fictional angel. "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"My… brother…" Jared gave him a strange look, but he just ignored it. "Well, he needs some convincing."

"You think I'm a demon or another angel or a shape shifter…?"

"Not at all," Jared said. "We think you're human, just a stubborn ass with a twisted sense of humor."

"Is that all?"

They both stared at him in surprise. Jensen wasn't sure what he expected. Maybe for the Cas-wannabe to be more upset that they were questioning him. If they were actually in the Supernatural world though, questioning came with the territory.

"It's the easiest to prove," he explained. "As you know, the others require salt, holy water, cutting… although an angel would be the most difficult to prove. I'm sure you realize Jimmy would never say yes to any other angel…"

"Just get on with it." Jared's patience was wearing thin. The thought of your coworkers laughing at you, did that to a person.

"Of course, Sam," he said, reaching out and touching them both.

Suddenly Jensen felt sick to his stomach. Everything was spinning and just as abruptly it stopped. That didn't fix the queasiness though, because once he could see again he realized they were no longer in Kansas or Canada or wherever the hell they'd been. Instead they were at the Grand Canyon. And not just there but in the middle of it on one of the highest peaks that rose majestically through it. Jensen wasn't usually afraid of heights, but the suddenness of it was disconcerting. He glanced over at Jared and bit back the urge to laugh. The look on his face was priceless.

"Where… how?"

"I remember you mentioning this place before, Sam. Would you rather go someplace else? China?"

"No," they both said together.

"Cas? Could you just take us back… um home?"

"Of course, Dean," he said calmly.

Another touch of the hand caused the world to spin again before it settled in the form of Bobby's house.

Castiel watched them calmly, as Jared preceded to freak out. "This is not okay. This is as far from okay as things could possibly get."

"Can you give us a minute, Cas?" Jensen pulled Jared across the room. "The good news is that Misha isn't playing a big prank on us that we'll never live down. The bad news is that Misha isn't playing a prank on us…"

"What are we going to do? We're stuck in a universe that doesn't exist…"

"Clearly, you're wrong."

"Jensen, I'm serious. What if we're stuck here forever?"

"Let's just try to remain calm. We'll get through this." He pulled Jared into a much needed hug. "At least we're together."

A sound from the other side of the room caught his attention. Castiel was looking at them strangely. He pulled away quickly.

"Okay, we have a few problems. One is how do we get out of here?"

"You think?" Jared said.

"Not helping. The next problem is how we survive here until we can leave."

"What do you mean?"

"One obvious problem is that we're brothers here, _Sammy_."

"Well, fuck."

"No, that's what we can't do. Also no touching, kissing, or anything else while we're here. God, no wonder everyone keeps looking at us like we've gone insane."

"So that _was_ Bobby. And Jo and Ellen are going to be here soon."

Jensen nodded. How in the world did they ever get into this mess? And more importantly, how do they get out?

"We've got another problem, Jensen. This world has Supernatural things in it. What if we have to kill something?"

"Oh, God. Can this get worse?"

"Maybe your little friend can help. He's clearly in love with you." Jared sounded almost jealous.

"He's in love with Dean…"

"You know I can hear you both? I am a Celestial Being."

It was going to take time to get used to that. Jensen motioned for the angel to join them. "We have a problem," he said. "We need your help."

"Obviously."

"Cas, listen. Do you remember when Balthazar sent Sam and I to a parallel universe? It was on the set of the Supernatural series, where there's no magic. It was a diversion so that you and Balthazar could get the weapons he stole from heaven…without Raphael realizing it."

"No. I'm sorry, Dean, but that did not happen. It's a good idea, though. Raphael has become quite the problem."

"Jo and Ellen," Jared said unexpectedly, causing them both to stare at him. "Jo and Ellen are still alive. Not only are we in a parallel universe, but we're in the past. Season 5 maybe? "

"Jo and Ellen die?" Castiel asked, clearly saddened by the news.

"Yes, but maybe you can do something to change that."

"Jensen, stop." Jared said. "Remember the Prime Directive. Do no harm."

"Isn't that's the Hippocratic Oath? The Prime Directive is to not interfere with alien life forms."

"I think it applies."

"And what show are you watching? I'm pretty sure Supernatural's motto is to do as much harm as fucking possible."

"Still, if we change something here and that changes it on the show back home, it might mess everything up."

"These are people's lives…"

"They're not real…"

"Try telling that to the guy in the trench coat."

"Enough!"

They both turned to stare at the now pissed off angel.

"Someone needs to tell me what's going on. Where are Sam and Dean? Because you two are not them."

Jared and Jensen shuffled uneasily. That wasn't even something they considered. If they were here, where were the real Sam and Dean? And wasn't that question ironic as hell?

"We don't know where they are," Jensen said finally. "We're actors on a TV show called Supernatural. We play Sam and Dean, and until this moment we thought they were fictional characters, not real. Misha is the guy who plays you on the show."

"I see. It all makes sense."

"Seriously?" Jared said.

Castiel seemed uncomfortable. "I detected a certain amount of romantic feelings between the two of you, and it concerned me. I know I've never thought of my brothers like that."

"Let's stay on track. How do we get home?"

Castiel thought for a minute. "What were you doing right before coming here?"

"We were acting on a television show," Jared said with a bit of an attitude.

The angel glared at him, and for a moment Jensen worried there would be bloodshed.

"We were performing a spell… on the show,' he said quickly.

"So you don't know what to do? The real Sam and Dean would know."

"Not really hunters, here. We have scripts. People tell us what to do and say."

"Well that's just sad."

Jared was going to explode if he didn't do something quick. Jensen recognized the signs. And a pissed off moose was not a good idea. Especially when dealing with a real angel.

"Cas," he said, getting his attention. "What _do_ we do?"

"First of all, fake-Sam needs to take that stick out of his ass."

Jensen laughed. He couldn't help it. Jared gave him the angry, betrayed puppy look. "Okay, well, after that what do we do?"

"Obviously," he said looking hard at Jared. "The spell is the key. We need to reverse it. Do you remember the ingredients?"

"Absolutely." Jensen found pen and paper and made a list. After almost nine years of being Sam and Dean, they should have thought of that. He handed the list to the angel.

Castiel looked confused. "These are the ingredients for a summoning spell."

Jared nodded in agreement. "That's what we were doing."

He couldn't be sure, but he thought the angel rolled his eyes.

"Who were you summoning," he said as if speaking to a child.

Jensen looked over at Jared. They both wore the same surprised look. Of course, why didn't they realize sooner.

"Balthazar."

Castiel shook his head, clearly angry. "I'll go find him," he said. "You guys stay here, act naturally, and I'll come to you later."

As Cas disappeared with a whoosh, Jared smacked Jensen on the arm. His thoughts were obviously written all over his face.

"What? Real-Cas is hot. He can come to me any time he wants."

Jared rolled his eyes. "Jensen, I'm not sure I can do this." He ran his hand through his long hair in a panic.

"Did you really just say that?"

"What?"

"You've been acting like Sam Winchester for the last 8 years. Don't over think it, dude."

"I guess you're right."

"Damn straight I am. Acting like Dean, acting like Jensen, acting like Dean, now that was hard. This? Piece of cake."

"Except for the not touching?"

"Shit," Jensen said with a wince. Not touching Jared on set was one of the hardest things about his job. And usually they had breaks and moments alone. This? Pretending to be brothers in front of Bobby, Jo, and Ellen?

This was going to be pure torture.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm overwhelmed by the positive response to this story! Please note that as a reward the rating has gone up to M. A little boy/boy action this chapter. You're welcome.

The French Kiss Mistake

Chapter Three

When Ellen and Jo arrived, Jensen hugged them both tight. There was something about knowing that these people, actual flesh and blood instead of characters, would die, probably in the near future, that caused his throat to close up, and his voice to crack. Jared wasn't much better, wiping tears from his eyes. Mother and daughter regarded them strangely.

Although Bobby had died a few seasons back, Jim was still around on the show. In season 9, Bobby was in heaven and along with Pamela and Ash, trying to take down Metatron.

It made it easier somehow.

For the most part, Jensen tried to stay in the background, while Jared joked around. Every once in a while his boyfriend would kick his foot, and indicate that he should join the conversation.

"So Sam, how are things?"

Everyone stared at him, and it took him a few minutes to realize why.

"Did you just call me Sam?" Ellen asked.

"I… um… no…" This was exactly the reason he shouldn't speak. Ellen and Jo. He repeated the names several times to himself. Not Samantha and Alona.

"I'm sure he was talking to me," Jared said, trying to save the situation.

Bobby and Ellen exchanged knowing glances, and Jensen wondered exactly what it was they thought they knew. It certainly couldn't be the truth. Even though the Supernatural world was freaky as shit, they hadn't seen anything like this… at least not until Season 6.

The night wore on and for a while Jensen worried they'd hit some kind of time thing where minutes stretched out into hours. He knew it was because he couldn't touch, flirt, or do anything with his boyfriend. Instead, he had to treat him like a brother.

In the end it was Jared who messed up. They were talking about the latest hunt, which Jensen couldn't remember ever having on the show, so he couldn't contribute much. He and Jo both stood up at the same time to head for the kitchen.

"Babe, would you get me a beer?" Jared asked without thinking, causing literally everyone to stare at him this time.

"I expect this crap from Dean, Sam, but not you." Jo looked equal parts offended and amused.

"I think he was talking to me," Jensen said with a smirk, trying not to outright laugh.

Ellen shook her head. "Boys."

"Sorry, Sam," Jo said. "I think of you like a brother."

"That's exactly what I told him," Jensen said with a wink. Jared glared at him, promising punishment at the end of the night. He didn't care. _Bring it on_.

"Never mind. I'll get my own."

The reason for this change of heart was apparent as Jo exited the kitchen just as Jared walked in, leaving them alone for the first time in hours.

Jared leaned down searching in the fridge for way too long. The beer was up front, so Jensen knew this was his attempt at torture. It was working.

"Need some help?" he said, his voice husky, as he moved next to him.

"No, I think I got this."

"Oh, you got it, all right, and honestly… I'm about to say screw it, and take you right here and now."

"You'll traumatize all of those people…"

"You're traumatizing me, babe. Come here." Jensen pulled him away from the fridge and into the far corner of the room, where no one could see them. He kissed Jared hungrily, a low moan escaping from his throat.

"Someone could walk in, Jensen," he said. Although it didn't keep him from participating.

"I think I've been more than patient with this whole thing. But I'm done. It's been a long exhausting day, and I need you." He grabbed his ass, to emphasize his point.

"I think I feel a headache coming on. After about 20 minutes, you make an excuse and follow me upstairs. Don't take too long, _Dean_," he said with a wink.

"I think you're getting off on this brother business." Jensen moved away, trying to calm down before facing the others. "And don't you dare think about starting without me."

"Can't promise anything."

They both turned to walk out just as Ellen entered the kitchen.

"Boys," she said. "Everything all right in here?"

"Peachy," Jensen said, sure he wasn't convincing anyone.

After the allotted amount of time, Jensen decided to make his way upstairs. Unfortunately Jo cornered him before he could get very far.

"Hey, Dean. Everything going okay?"

"Sure, why?" he said, almost afraid to ask.

"Honestly? Because I've been here for hours, and you haven't once tried to hit on me."

"You told me to stop remember?" He wasn't sure if that was entirely true, but it was certainly likely.

"Never stopped you before," she said. "And it certainly never kept you from flirting. I feel like the ugly girl at the prom."

"Jo, you're gorgeous," he said sincerely. "As you well know. But to be honest, I kind of think of you as the little sister I never had."

"Ouch."

"Sorry, honey," he said with a smirk. "But you missed your chance for a piece of this sweet ass."

She smacked him on the arm with a laugh. "Dean, you never change."

As he gave his excuses to retire for the night, Ellen was the only one who seemed suspicious. What could he do, though? She'd always been intuitive, at least in the show. It wasn't like he could explain it to her. That he was having an incestuous relationship with his brother was probably the most believable thing he could say.

Jared was ready when he got to the room. More than ready, in fact. He'd broken the 'don't start without me' rule, but Jensen couldn't get too upset when he looked so good all flushed and ready for him.

He peeled off his clothes in record time. Climbing on the bed he kissed Jared deeply, savoring his unique taste. Strong arms wrapped around him. God, he missed this. The feeling of his body, the safety… the sense of home. He found his favorite spot, the place between his neck and shoulder blade, and bit down softly, eliciting a very satisfying moan from his boyfriend.

"I missed you," Jared said, mirroring his thoughts. Their kisses and touches grew more insistent, as they explored each other's bodies.

Jensen prepared him as quickly as he could, glad in that moment that he'd done some of it before he arrived. Slipping deep inside his boyfriend, everything seemed perfect, right again.

"Faster… God don't stop," Jared said. Jensen loved when he got all demanding and shit. Slamming into him, he gave him exactly what he asked for.

"Oh… I… um sorry."

For the briefest of moments, Jensen forgot where he was, and he assumed Misha was there to join them. The hesitant voice more than anything clued him in. This wasn't his other lover. This was Castiel, Angel of the Lord.

"No…um… problem," Jensen said, trying to be coherent. "Almost done."

"I'll just go."

"No!" They both shouted it at once. They needed answers, and Castiel was the only one who had any.

Jensen could see his face. The angel was embarrassed beyond belief. "Just a few more minutes, Cas, please."

And that's all it took. Partly because he was already almost there, and partly because having Cas there watching them, hearing them… put him right over that edge.

No longer distracted by a painful arousal, Jensen noticed a few things. Like how Cas snuck glances at their bodies when he thought no one was looking. How he pulled his coat even further around him. How flushed he seemed to be, and not just from embarrassment. Interesting.

When they were all cleaned up and presentable again, Jensen turned to the angel. "So did you find Balthazar?"

"Yes," he said. "I now know everything."

They both sat up in surprise.

"Seriously?"

"Of course. Why would I joke?"

Jared rolled his eyes, looking at Jensen for help.

He ignored him. "Go on, Cas. What did you find out?"

"As I suspected," he said. "It was Balthazar."

"So when can we go home?"

"Never," the angel said.

"Wait, hold up," Jared said. "Never? What the hell?"

"Cas? What do you mean? Why can't we go home?"

He stared at Jensen, before looking away sadly, regret in his beautiful clear blue eyes.

"I'm afraid Balthazar refuses to send you back."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I'll be honest. I'm a little nervous about this chapter. I think some will love it, and some might hate it. Please let me know what you think, even if you don't like it. When I get silence, it's the worst, and it makes me want to delete everything and start all over. ;)

The French Kiss Mistake

Chapter Four

"Refuses? Are you kidding me?" Jensen said. "Let me at him. I'll change his mind." He was usually not a violent person, but there were times when his Dean-ness shined through, like when douchbag angels tried to keep him from going home.

Jared touched his arm, his thumb rubbing soothing circles. "Why won't he send us home? There has to be a reason."

Castiel's eyes followed his every movement, before flickering back up to their faces. When he spoke, it was to Jensen. "I don't know."

"What the hell? You said you knew everything." Jared was no longer calm, and although he looked hot all riled up like that, he couldn't help but wonder at it. His boyfriend was normally not an angry person. In fact, he was one of the most good-natured guys he knew. Well, next to Misha. And he couldn't dwell on that because thinking of him, hurt way too freaking much. But since being in this universe, it was almost as if Jared was becoming more Sam-like. What if the longer they were here the more like their characters they became?

"He told me, I just don't understand it." Castiel was glaring at Jared.

"What exactly did he say, Cas?" Jensen stepped forward, physically trying to separate the two.

"It doesn't matter," Jared said. "Let's just summon him ourselves. I'm so sick of all this crap."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"No one cares what you think, Cas. If you can't help us, why are you even here?"

Castiel puffed up, suddenly a hundred times more intimidating, even without the actual wings showing. A part of him could appreciate how unlike Misha he really was. His angel was a freaking badass. Dean's angel, he reminded himself. The other part of him realized they were about to have a major incident. Either Castiel was going to pop out of there, and no matter what Jared said they could not do this without him, or he was going to smite them all.

"Do not piss off the nerd angels," he whispered, knowing that Cas could still hear him.

"Fine. Whatever." Jared walked away, sitting on the bed with a weariness that tore at his heart. He knew how he felt; they were helpless in this situation. They both just wanted to go home.

"Cas? What did he say, exactly?"

The angel immediately deflated, looking sad. "My heart will go on."

Jensen and Jared exchanged confused looks. "The fuck?"

"It doesn't make any sense to me, but he said you would understand. Oh, and that the song was worse than the movie."

Jared was on his feet in an instant. "He's un-sank the Titanic?"

Castiel stared at them like they were speaking Latin… except he probably spoke Latin. "I don't understand that reference. I don't understand any of this."

"Join the club." Jensen rubbed the back of his neck. Even knowing what Balthazar was referring to didn't help. Seriously? In that episode of the show the angel saved a boatload of people so they could harvest more souls. What did that have to do with them? He needed some alone time with Jared to talk it out. Castiel with his cluelessness was just too distracting.

Unfortunately he realized quickly that _that_ wasn't going to happen.

"I need some air," Jared said walking toward the door.

"Where are you going? It's not exactly safe here." He waved his hands around trying to emphasis his point.

"Relax. I'm just going downstairs to get a beer, so you and _your angel_ can work things out. I'm just in the way."

"He's Dean's angel," he mumbled, following him to the door.

"Don't worry," Jared said with a small smile as he kissed him lightly on the lips. "I just need to think. See if you can get anything else out of Castiel. I'm not sure he's telling us everything. And I meant for you to hear that." His voice was louder at the end, even though they both knew it wasn't necessary.

Jensen nodded. "Okay, but don't be gone long." He gave him another kiss, this one with a promise of things to come. "I need you here."

Once he was gone, Jensen turned his attention to Castiel. "Is he right, Cas? Is there something you're not telling us?"

The angel shifted uneasily. "No, I've told you everything," he said, not looking at him.

Castiel was a terrible liar. Unlike Misha, who could lie like a son of a bitch.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because the Winchesters are always skeptical."

"I'm not a Winchester, Cas. I'm not Dean. You get that right?" The angel wouldn't look at him, and suddenly Jensen was afraid he would just pop right out of there. If he remembered correctly, Castiel did not like to be in uneasy situations.

"Of course, I understand. It was a joke."

Jensen grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the bed, indicating for him to sit. Cas rolled his eyes, once again highlighting Dean's influence on him. He realized in that moment, that the angel also lost something in this. He lost his friend. But then why was he holding out on them?

Jensen sat down beside him. "Talk."

He stared down at his hands for a while. "Dean… I mean not-Dean, why does not-Sam hate me so much?"

He could tell the angel was stalling, but he was okay with letting him ease in to what was really bothering him. "He doesn't hate you. I mean he's angry that we're stuck here."

"I see," he said, even though Jensen was sure he didn't.

"Honestly, I think it because he feels left out."

Castiel glanced up at him in surprise. "I don't understand."

He tried to think of the best way to explain it. "At home Jared and I… and Misha, not-Cas," he said with a little smile. "We all love each other. We're together…"

"You have a sexual relationship."

Was he really discussing his sex life with an angel? Could he go to hell for sinning in a parallel universe? Of course, just the thoughts he had about the angel already sealed that deal.

"Yes," he said. "But here, it's different. Sam is the odd man out, for good reason. I just think it's hard for Jared. You treat him a lot differently than you treat me. .. because of Dean."

Castiel didn't speak for a while. "Sometimes you remind me so much of him."

The sadness in his voice almost broke his heart. "I know you miss him," he said resisting the urge to put his arms around the angel. "Help us, Cas. So we can get home, and you can get your Dean back."

"You don't understand." His voice was so full of pain, he knew he was missing something.

"But I want to. Explain it to me."

Castiel shook his head. "I can't."

He lifted his chin so the angel had to look at him. His emotions were all over his face… the sorrow, regret… guilt.

"Cas what did you do?"

"He never looks at me the way you do…"

"Who Dean? I know that's not true." He tried not to panic. Cas was the only one on their side. He had to be on their side, right?

"Not openly, anyway." He wouldn't look him in the eye, and Jensen suddenly had had enough.

"Are you working with Balthazar on this? Is this your doing, Cas?" He grabbed his arms, shaking him slightly. He needed answers. Jared was going to flip, throwing 'I-told-you-so's out all over the place.

Castiel looked at him, then. Really looked at him, his blue eyes staring intensely. "No. I swear, I had nothing to do with this. You have to believe me."

"I do." Even as he sighed with relief, he knew there was something more. "But you need to be straight with me. What are you hiding?"

The eyes skittered away once again, this time as if he was embarrassed. "Balthazar said never… he did. But I could tell there was more. He finally agreed to negotiate, his words, with you and not-Sam." He scrubbed at his face, seeming hesitant to go on.

"Cas?" he prompted. It was like pulling teeth getting anything from him.

"He was willing to meet with you immediately. Anxious in fact," he said. "I convinced him to wait."

"God damn it, Cas. Why would you do that?" He wanted to say more. To rant and rave at the angel standing between him and his home, but there was something about the way he looked. He obviously felt awful about what he'd done… but his reasons were important. Jensen wasn't sure how he knew that, but of it, he was absolutely certain.

"You're angry."

"Tell me why you did it."

He sighed heavily. "It doesn't really matter. If you want, I can take you to him now."

"Talk to me, Cas." He touched his cheek, pushing back his anger. "I want to help you," he said softly.

"Why? After what I've done, I don't deserve it."

"This is about Dean, isn't it?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I love him," he said, his voice so low he could barely hear him. "I think I've known for a while. And just seeing you… so open about your feelings, it made me want things I shouldn't."

This time he couldn't stop himself. He pulled the angel into a hug, trying not to sob like a baby. "First of all, Cas," he said. "You have to know that you are one smoking hot Angel of the Lord."

"You're just saying that." As he pulled away, Jensen held on to his hands.

"Are you kidding me? You're all powerful and vulnerable and shit all at the same time. I get hard just thinking about you."

Cas smiled shyly, and God wasn't that just adorable and hot.

"Second of all, Dean cares about you. I honestly think he wants you bad. He just doesn't know how to deal with that."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because it's written in every damn script. 'Dean stares longingly at Castiel.' Now that I know the writers aren't just messing with the fans, it all makes sense."

The angel smiled, looking more hopeful than he had this whole time, and Jensen realized they'd gotten off track. "I still don't understand why you don't want us to leave. I can never be Dean."

"I don't want you…" he said and was suddenly flustered. "I mean I do want you. My vessel is aroused right now from being near you, and my mind is flooded with thoughts of you touching me… and I can't remember what I was saying…" His glanced up, his blue eyes filled with need and distress…

Jensen was having a hard time not jumping him right then and there. It was the innocence and confusion evident in his voice… that made him want the angel even more and held him back at the same time.

"You don't want me…" he said throwing his words back at him as a reminder.

"I want Dean." Thinking about him must have helped, because he was suddenly more in control. "I mean I want to be with him. It's not just about sex. We have a profound bond. We belong together."

Jensen smiled at him, glad he'd been able to control himself. "I know you do. I sincerely believe that."

"Then you'll help me?"

"Wait, what?" He was definitely missing something.

"This is why I needed more time, not-Dean," he said his voice strong. "I need you to show me how…"

"How to what?" He knew he should understand but for some reason he just wasn't getting it.

Castiel's blue eyes were so clear and intense, Jensen couldn't look away even if he wanted.

"How to seduce Dean Winchester."

* * *

A/N2: The concept of not-Dean is borrowed from GoldenPetal13's not-rabbit because I love that story (and her) and I wait patiently for her to finish it someday.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I know it's been a while since I updated. Blame GISHWHES. And the fact that my daughter left for college this week. My plan is to update weekly.

Chapter 5

Jensen watched the rise and fall of his lover's chest. Even though they were in a crazy-ass situation, he still felt lucky to be with him.

"Hey," Jared said, sleepiness making his voice muffled. "Whatcha doin?"

"Just thinking. Every time I wake up, I think I'm home. Then I realize we're not. And as much as I don't want to be here, I'm so glad you're with me."

"Gee, thanks a lot." Jared sat up wrapping his arms around his legs.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," he said kissing Jensen sweetly. "Now are you going to tell me about what you and Cas discussed last night? I know he's hiding something."

Jensen hesitated. Nothing had happened with the angel. He'd explained instead how he needed to talk to Jared first. And although he should have discussed it with him after Cas left, he just couldn't. Jared was going to be pissed, and all Jensen wanted last night was to snuggle with his boyfriend. Not like they could have done anything then anyway.

"He's in love with Dean."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Balthazar was willing to meet with us but Cas convinced him to wait."

"What the hell, Jensen. I told you we couldn't trust that angel." He started to get up, and Jensen grabbed his arm.

"Let me explain, okay?"

"I think he's in love with you, too. You're just too stubborn to see it."

"You're wrong, Jared." As the other man rolled his eyes, he hastened to add. "He wants me, obviously. But really, who can blame him? I'm a hot guy." He stretched his arms out, emphasizing his chest.

Jared smacked his stomach. "Ass."

"You know you want me."

"Quit trying to distract me. What did Cas want?"

"I told you. Me." He rubbed Jared's back, trying to get back on his good side. "Well, actually Dean's the one he really wants, but he wants my help in getting him."

"How?" The suspicion in his voice was evident.

"Cas wants me to teach him how to seduce Dean."

Jared shook his head. "So let me get this straight. Castiel wants you to have sex with him… just to help him get Dean?"

"Not sex. Just pointers. Sweetie, you are so untrusting." He knelt behind his boyfriend, massaging his shoulders and kissing his neck.

"Damn right. Especially when he's trying to get my man. And I see the way you look at him. I can't compete with a freaking angel."

Jensen pulled him back so he was laying against him, and so he could see his eyes. "I want you. Don't be jealous of Cas, although it's kind of cute. I admit I'm attracted to him, but I'm madly, hopelessly in love with you."

Jensen kissed him from the upside down angle, trying to convey his sincerity with each touch of his lips.

Jared turned abruptly, placing his hands on either side of Jensen's face. "Honestly, I get it. I couldn't imagine being without you. It must be hard for Castiel. Seeing us together. Missing Dean and wanting more from him. Go ahead and give him lessons. But make sure you come back to me."

"Always." Pulling his boyfriend down, Jensen was determined to wipe any doubt from his mind.

This time they took their time. Slow touches, and languid kisses, until they were both wanting more. As he pushed into Jared's more than willing body, he whispered loving words that brought tears to his eyes. Jared had to know how much he loved him.

Later they were showered, ready for the day, and eating a hearty breakfast when Jared brought up the other hot topic of conversation.

"So I've been thinking about it, and I'm pretty sure I know what Balthazar meant."

"Seriously? And you're just now telling me?"

"You really want to go there?"

Jensen sighed in defeat. "Fine. What does Balthazar want from us?"

"That whole episode was about how changing one thing caused a ripple effect, sort of what you're doing with Castiel."

He ignored the last part. "And?"

"It's obvious that by bringing us here, Balthazar wants to change something that's going to happen."

"But what?"

"I have an idea about that too. I don't want to say, though, until I'm sure. Just in case there's any celestial beings out there listening in."

Jensen nodded as he chewed on a piece of bacon. He'd also wondered if Cas had his ears on. He'd promised Dean he wouldn't do that, but then again, he wasn't Dean…

"What if we change things by helping Cas?"

"I don't know, Jensen. I mean, it might alter things on the show, but I can't see how it would change anything for us. And that's the only thing I'm really worried about. As long as I have you and Misha, that's all I care about."

"And maybe it could help…"

"Season 7?"

"Season 7," Jensen agreed. "So what's the plan then?"

"Well I think we should call Cas down. Tell him we're okay with helping him as long as he takes us to Balthazar afterwards," Jared said.

"Then I show Cas how to seduce Dean, and we find out what Balthazar wants…"

"And then we go home."

"I like this plan," Jensen said, smiling. For the first time in days, he actually felt like things were going to work out.

"You guys have a plan?" Bobby asked as he strolled into the kitchen. "That's good cuz we're gonna need one."

"What do you mean?" Jared looked nervous, and Jensen had the sudden feeling that things were taking a drastic turn for the worse.

"I mean this hunt's no piece of cake, Sam," he said. "And we need to leave by noon if we want to be in Illinois by nightfall."

"But I don't want to go to Illinois." Jensen knew he sounded like a small child, but dammit when were they going to catch a break.

"Ain't that too damn bad, Dean." He glared at him, giving him the famous Bobby-stink eye. "Those monsters aren't going to just gank themselves."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Look at that! Another chapter so soon! So catbean715 asked for some Dean/Cas goodness. If this is something you want-Castiel's awkward attempts to seduce Dean using Jensen's teachings, let me know. Also I thought about having a one-shot showing Misha with the real Sam and Dean. It's been done on the show, of course, and I think there's fics already out there like that, but I could do something with my little twist on it, if there's enough interest. Sometimes I don't get much of a response, and I feel like I'm just talking to myself. And then I laugh insanely to myself, so it's all good. Reviews do motivate me to write more so let me know what you want and what you think. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, and followed. I appreciate the love.

Chapter 6

"We are not hunters!"

"Seriously, Jared. Repeating it over and over again, only louder, isn't really helping."

He threw up his hands in frustration. "Cas, help me out, here."

"You aren't hunters," the angel said, his face completely serious.

"You think I don't know that?" And since when did Castiel and Jared agree on anything? Jensen felt like he was being ganged up on… and not in the good way. "So what do you two suggest?"

"We can just tell Bobby we can't go." His voice was not as emphatic as before.

"Sure, Jared. I'll go do that now. 'Sorry, Bobby. I can't go on the hunt today. I'm not really a hunter, I just play one on TV.' I'm sure he'll be fine with that."

Jared rolled his eyes, but otherwise offered no helpful solutions.

"Neither of you are hunters."

"We got it, Cas," Jensen said irritably.

"No. I don't think you do." His voice was tinged with anger, and he suddenly seemed larger, scarier, and all without moving a single muscle. It was impressive, and Jensen couldn't help but think of later, if they made it back alive. He was going to get to kiss and touch and… he really needed to focus, especially since Castiel was narrowing his eyes like he could read his mind.

Jared smacked him in the chest. His boyfriend could definitely read his mind.

"These monsters are real, _not_-Dean. If you fight them, you will probably die."

"And you can just bring us back," Jensen said with a shrug. What was everyone worried about? They had their magic genie-in-a-trench-coat.

"Is this a joke to you?" Cas said, his voice dark and menacing. "Sam and Dean risk their lives to save others. They are heroes. And every time death has taken them, they've been changed somehow…"

Jared touched the angel's arm. A risky move in his opinion, but it seemed to work. "Hey, Cas. It's okay. We get it. But the bottom line is, if we don't do this, people with die."

He seemed to contemplate this, as Jared steered Jensen away from the dangerous celestial being. "Don't piss off the nerd angel," he whispered.

"What are you going to be hunting?" Castiel asked finally.

Jensen took this as a good sign they'd won. Although really, getting to fight evil when you had zero skills to do so, couldn't really be counted as a victory.

"Um, no clue."

Cas looked like he was going to explode into little angel pieces, until Jared saved the day. Again. He was seriously off his game. Was it his fault he really wanted to fight something? This would probably be his only chance to be truly Dean-like. Not just an actor, pretending.

Jared had grabbed Sam's laptop and was furiously scrolling through it. "Get this," he said. "Sam's been doing research on the Nix. It's not a monster; it's a water spirit. I bet that's what we're hunting. It says here that the Nix likes tobacco and vodka. You can make it appear by dripping blood into water or by sacrificing a black animal. That's helpful, right?"

"What do you think, Cas?"

"It's still too dangerous."

Jensen rolled his eyes. They were getting nowhere, and he was tired of tip-toeing around everything. Everything being a certain Angel of the Lord. "We're doing this so you can either get on board and help us, or just go away."

The angel in question opened his mouth to say something and then quickly shut it again. Jared's eyebrows rose to the top of his head. He gave Jensen an appreciative look. It was no secret that he had a bossy Jensen kink.

"Fine. While Sam does the research…"

"_Not_ Sam," they said together.

"That's what I said," he snapped. Evidently Cas didn't like being bossed around, unless it was Dean doing the bossing. "You do that, and I will show not-Dean how to not-fight."

Castiel stomped away to the other room.

"Good luck," Jared mouthed, giving Jensen a quick kiss before he left.

They moved things around in the living room so there was a good deal of space to work with. No sense in getting knocked out by a sturdy piece of furniture. That would be embarrassing and very unDean-like.

"So you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Besides you having a death wish? Nothing."

Jensen sighed. So this was how it was going to be. Awesome. "You're a terrible liar, Cas," he said. "You should just give it up."

He turned, giving him his full attention. His eyes blazed, rivaling angry demons everywhere.

"And you can stop with the hate-stare. Seriously. I'm about to be wasted by a water spirit. You think I'm scared of one anal-retentive angel?"

But Castiel was not in a joking mood; he had his serious face on. "Have you ever thought about what happens if you die, and I can't save you?"

"That would suck, for one."

"I don't get my Dean back."

Ouch. That kind of hurt. Just a little. But something in his posture told Jensen that there was more to it than that.

"Talk to me, Cas."

For a second he wasn't sure he was going to answer, as he just studied the ground like it had all the answers. "If you didn't want to help me, you could have just told me."

"Help you?" Then it hit him. In all the excitement of going on an honest to goodness, scary as hell hunt, they called the angel down and forgot to tell him their decision.

"Cas…"

"Don't…" He turned away, looking ashamed of his weakness. Of wanting something he shouldn't. "I understand…"

"Apparently not." Jensen walked over to him, lifting his chin so their eyes met. "Yes," he said softly.

"Yes?"

"Yes. Castiel Badass Angel of the Lord, I will do my best to help you seduce Dean Winchester, Hunter-extraordinaire."

"But why?"

"Because you deserve to be happy. Because Dean deserves to be happy. Because you have a profound bond together…" And because the thought of kissing and touching the angel was seriously doing things to his body.

"I don't…"

"Shut up, Cas," he said, grabbing his face. He hesitated for just a second, long enough for any protest to be made, before kissing him softly. "Dean's a lucky guy. And if I wasn't already with Jared, I might just have to fight him for you."

"That's impossible since you both exist in different universes."

"No more talking." This kiss lasted longer. A promise of what was to come.

"Glad to see you guys are hard at work." Thankfully Jared didn't sound upset or even surprised. He put the laptop down on the coffee table.

"Just giving Cas our answer."

"Good," he said, smiling at the angel, and earning a shy grin in response. "So get this…"

They spent another hour or so going over the specifics of the Nix and how they planned on ganking it. Cas demonstrated ways to avoid and fight the spirit without getting hurt. Several times he moved Jensen where he wanted him, and damn if the touch of those angelic hands and the feel of that body against his, didn't distract him just a bit. At times, he was positive he could sense a similar reaction from Castiel.

Once Cas deemed them "ready as you'll ever be, it's in God's hands now" they moved the furniture back. It was getting close to the time they needed to leave.

"So can I have a knife?" Jensen asked.

"No," Jared and Cas answered simultaneously.

"I've handled a blade before." He sounded defensive, but he didn't care. They treated him like he was a child. So not fair.

"When?" Castiel asked.

"A real one?" Jared eyed him skeptically.

"Sort of." Then he suddenly remembered. He didn't need their permission, he had his own knife. Of course it wasn't real but it might scare off a monster or two. Reaching down, he grabbed the blade that, as Dean, he carried in his ankle holster. The metal gleamed in the light from the nearby lamp.

"Jensen, that knife is real."

"Huh. Will you look at that?"

"You're going to end up cutting yourself," Castiel said with disapproval.

"But you'll heal me if I do, right Cas?"

His response was an undignified huff. "The Winchesters are easy compared to you two," he said. "I'll be watching." And with a ruffle of unseen feathers he was gone.

"Sure about this, babe?" Jared asked, pulling him in close. "It's bound to be dangerous."

"Are you kidding? Misha will be jealous as hell that we got to hunt real spirits. Wouldn't miss it."

"Just don't take any unnecessary risks. I kind of like you."

"You either," Jensen said kissing him. "I'd like to keep you around for awhile."

"Mmmm. You taste like angel." Jared licked inside his mouth turning their playful kisses into something more. "Wish we had another hour or so," he said with a groan. "You know we might not make it back."

Jensen pulled away slightly, trying to catch his breath. "Are you seriously giving me the 'last night on earth' speech?"

"I don't know. Is it working?"

"What do you think?" He pushed against him, leaving no doubt as to his body's reaction.

Jared's hands were in his hair, tugging him into submission. Every once in a while, he liked to be in control, and Jensen didn't mind one bit.

Except when Bobby was coming through the door.

They jumped apart like they were being attacked by demons. Each trying and failing to look nonchalant.

"What the hell have you two been up to?" As they started to explain, he held up his hand. "Never mind. I don't want to know. Just get your gear and let's go."

They quickly loaded up the Impala. That was another thing Misha was going to be jealous of; he was getting to drive Dean's baby.

As they headed on their way, Jensen sent out a silent prayer to God, Castiel, and any other friendly angel out there listening, to keep them all safe.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time they reached Springfield, Illinois, Jensen's butt was completely numb. How did the real Sam and Dean drive all over the freaking country? Just one 6 hour trip almost wiped him out. Only thing that made it bearable was that as the driver, he got to pick out the music. Gotta love Dean's rules.

Jared seemed just as tired, while Bobby was raring to go. As soon as they checked into the cheap motel, he was issuing orders.

"You two talk to the local police, I'll check on the neighbors."

They'd gone over the case already. Two people dead from apparent drowning. The thing that made it their "type of thing" was the sighting of a watery figure near where the drownings occurred. Skimpy, but they've gone on less. Well, Sam and Dean had gone on less. Jared and Jensen just followed the script.

Talking to the local law enforcement was a piece of cake. After 8 years of acting like FBI agents and other assorted officials, he felt like he had it down. It was just acting. Something he was good at. Actually fighting the water spirit or whatever it was… that was going to be the hard part.

They didn't learn much. The police attributed two people drowning at the same place a few days apart as an unfortunate coincidence.

Interviewing the family was more difficult. It wasn't the questioning that got to him. It was the real grief that poured off of them. Something he wasn't used to. A parent lost their child. A sister lost her brother. Jensen stumbled over his words prompting Jared to take over. He excused himself for a moment, trying to get a handle on his emotions.

Their world was one of make believe, while their counterparts were living in this pain filled existence. Fighting demons, monsters, spirits and having no one but each other and their angel to rely on. Their parents died. Jess died. Soon followed by more.

Bobby.

Jo and Ellen.

Death was a common experience in their lives. How in the world did they cope?

"You okay?" Jared touched his arm, regarding him with concern.

"Yeah. Sorry. Find out anything?"

"Jerry, the victim, was talking on the phone to his girlfriend about some guy that disappeared in the water. The connection was lost, and he ended up floating in the river."

"Did he recognize him?"

"Not according to the girlfriend."

"So what do we do now?"

He held up his phone. "Bobby wants to meet us at the hotel to compare notes."

Jensen nodded, leading the way out to the car.

"Can I drive?"

"Absolutely not. Sorry, Dean's rules."

Before he could reach for the handle, Jared stepped in front of him. "Dean's not here."

"Close enough."

"And I'm not Sammy."

The threat was subtle, but Jensen heard it loud and clear. Don't piss off your boyfriend. Throwing Jared the keys, he winked. "Show me what you got, baby."

As they raced through town, Jared turned the music up loud. Jensen was fairly sure he wasn't overly fond of rap music, and yet the radio was spewing it out like a broken fire hydrant. When he tried to change the station, his boyfriend slapped his hand. "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole. Dean's rules."

"Dean's not here," he muttered to no avail. Still Jared's attempts at singing along had him laughing, and he found he couldn't complain.

And he had to admit he was a little turned on by how well Jared handled the car.

Even though this wasn't the time.

Or the place.

Besides, the look of confusion and irritation on Bobby's face when they arrived was enough to remedy that little problem real quick.

As they compared notes, Bobby relayed what he found out from the neighbors. Several had mentioned a handsome stranger around the area where the two possible drownings occurred. Jared explained that sometimes the nix was said to be an omen that a drowning was going to occur. But since both drownings happened around the time as the sightings, not days or weeks later, it was more likely that the spirit lured the people to their deaths.

Even though he knew Sam was the one who found the information in the first place, he couldn't help but admire how much smart-Jared turned him on.

He cleared his throat, trying to focus on the topic of conversation. Why was the spirit here and why now? They didn't have those answers.

"Doesn't matter."

Bobby's announcement caught them by surprise. Of course, on the show there were times when their plots had holes in them. They heard about it, either by the critics, or more likely the viewers. Hardcore fans who seemed to have every little bit of Supernatural lore memorized.

Still, not having all the answers just seemed wrong.

"Seriously?" he said.

"Let's just gank this bitch and move on."

"Works for me." Jared was obviously anxious to get this done so they could go home. Nothing was going to get in his way.

"We just need a black animal to sacrifice."

Unless it involved protecting something.

"No way," he said with his most serious bitch face. "We can't sacrifice an innocent animal."

"Is there any other way, Bobby?" Jensen knew there was no sense in arguing the sanctity of human life; they had to just go in a different direction. Jared was fierce when he was on a cause.

"Fine," Bobby said, shaking his head. It seemed this was not an uncommon complaint. "You two go check out where the victims drowned, and I'll call around and see if anyone knows anything."

The ride to the river was short and uneventful. Except for Jensen turning up Air Supply as loud as it would go and serenading Jared with one had on the wheel and the other touching his boyfriend anytime it was safe. He knew once they got to there, they would be all business. There was always the chance things could go horribly wrong. He wasn't going to waste this time not squeezing Jared's hand or not enjoying the feel of his amazing bicep. And while he was being cheesy, and romantic, and goofy as hell, his thoughts invariably turned to Misha. The most romantic, cheesiest, and goofiest guy of all. The possibility of never seeing him again caused his throat to close up and his eyes to water.

When they reached their destination, Jared pulled him into a sweet kiss.

"We're going to kick this thing's ass," he whispered. "And then, after a little Cas time, we're going home."

Jensen nodded, kissing him again for good measure.

As they stepped out of the car, he took a swig of the vodka Bobby had given them to lure the spirit. It burned its way down, making him suddenly feel alive with excitement. They were really going to pull a Sam and Dean. Gank a badass water spirit and ride off in the sunset in a bitchin car.

If they didn't end up dead first.

Just for good measure, he checked the trunk. The sight of all those actual, not rubber, not props, honest to God weapons almost did him in. Seriously, these guys were real bad asses. He picked up a shotgun.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"Shoot some spirits, obviously."

"Jensen, these are water spirits. I don't think they respond to rock salt."

"Oh." He closed the trunk, slightly disappointed.

They walked along the river's edge. Besides the fact that it was practically deserted, nothing unusual stood out. Not that he knew what to even look for. Where was a freaking script when you needed one?

He was wondering if spewing Latin would be necessary when he saw the figure. Handsome was an understatement. The guy was hot, in an old English romantic kind of way. He wore a white ruffled shirt and had long blonde hair tied back. And he seemed to be floating above the water. But what really caught Jensen's attention was the way he was fixated on Jared.

Watery bastard.

The vodka bottle was halfway to Jared's lips, a look of awe on his face.

"Babe?" This was not good. Not good at all.

It was as if Jensen didn't exist. Jared moved closer, in a trance-like state.

He had to do something, but he wasn't sure what. That shot gun would have come in real handy, if only for the shock factor.

"Over here you aquatic dick." He grabbed the vodka bottle from Jared and chucked it at the spirit. Of course, it did no harm, but it caught the spirit's attention. With a flick of his wrist, all the water particles in the humid air joined together and threw themselves at Jensen. He was tossed into the air and then slammed against the ground. Meanwhile, his boyfriend stood as still as a statue.

The fall seriously hurt. His hip throbbed with a pain he was not used to feeling. He brushed it aside. No one tried to steal and drown his boyfriend.

"Come here you little water sprout." He stepped in between Jared and the water, but it was no use. The spirit again picked him up and tossed him around like a butterfly caught in a storm.

This crap was seriously getting old. He was breathing heavy and bleeding from several places when he realized Jared was already at the water's edge. Changing tactics, he tried to pull Jared away. It was impossible. He wasn't able to take his boyfriend down on his best days. Shaking him, he tried to wake him from the trance. Nothing seemed to work.

Praying to Cas was next on his list of things to try. Maybe the angel could bring him a black animal. Anything would do at this point. Sure, it would piss Jared off, but right now an angry Jared was better than a dead one.

His phone rang startling only him. The others were caught in a staring match.

"Bobby, tell me you got something. This damn thing is luring Sam in, and I've only got minutes until he's fish food."

"Well, I don't know if it'll work, but try saying his name."

"Sam?"

"No, you idjit. The water spirit. Lore has it, that it'll vanish the thing for good."

"I don't know his freaking name, Bobby." He knew he was yelling, but he also knew Jared had moments to live.

"Figure it out." And with that sage advice he was gone.

"Hey, Nix," Jensen yelled. The thing looked at him and smiled eerily. Fucking wet bastard.

"Rumpelstiltskin?" Nothing. A black dog or crow would've probably worked a lot better.

Jared stood on the edge, ready to throw himself in when Jensen heard the rustle of wings.

"Lorilei," Castiel said from behind him. "His name is Lorilei." His voice was deep and seductive, but Jensen definitely wasn't thinking about that now.

He swirled around in surprise, causing the angel to glare. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Right. No time to think about how Cas came without even being called.

"Hey Lorilei! You watery prick. Get the fuck away from my boyfriend."

Suddenly, the nix changed tactics, rushing forward. Castiel stepped in between them, trying to shield him. But it was only the last gasp of a dying spirit as it shattered into millions of drops, sparkling in the moonlight, before raining down on him.

He shivered partly from adrenalin and partly from the ice cold water that got past Cas.

"What the hell?" Jared stared at them in confusion and backing away from the ledge.

Jensen laughed, hugging his boyfriend in relief. That was too close. Way too damn close.

"You're hurt, not-Dean," Castiel said, stepping toward him.

"I'm fine," he growled. "Let's just get out of here."

"I'll meet you at the motel." And with a flurry of wings, the angel was gone.

"Wait," Jared said, stopping Jensen on his way to the car. "What did I miss?"

* * *

They were soon back in the motel room waiting for Castiel. Bobby had been briefed, and he shook his head as if it was just another day. Another case. Which by all accounts it had been. He went back to his room, leaving them alone once again.

Jensen explained everything to his boyfriend who was shocked, not only by what he had missed, but also by Jensen's appearance. His brow was cut and bleeding. His chin was cut and bleeding. Bruises lined his neck and jaw. Almost as if the water spirit had tried to squeeze the life right out of him.

Jensen insisted he was fine. He was irritated, and he couldn't exactly explain why. Probably had something to do with almost losing his best friend and lover. A part of him hoped that Castiel wouldn't show tonight. He wanted nothing more than to hold on tight to Jared and never let go. How in the hell did the Winchesters do this on a day to day basis?

Jared had a similar idea, it seemed. He wrapped Jensen in his arms, kissing him softly.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Castiel was not looking at them. His head was bowed in embarrassment or something else.

"Thanks back there, Cas," Jensen said. "You really saved our asses."

"You're welcome. Not-Dean."

"I'm just going to hang out with Bobby, while you guys work things out." Jared started for the door.

"Actually, you don't have to leave." The angel shifted nervously. "I've… um… decided not to… you know."

Jensen stared at him in disbelief. Even though he had been hoping they could skip it, for tonight at least, the hesitancy in Castiel's voice caught his attention. He knew the angel was scared. Nervous.

But he also knew he had to do everything in his power to change his mind.

A/N: Reviews make write faster. Just saying. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I feel like I should say a few Hail Marys just for writing this, and I'm not even Catholic. Hope you guys enjoy. And as always, leave me feedback.

Jared seemed conflicted. Not sure whether to stay or go.

"I'm sure Bobby could use some company. I'll figure things out with Cas." Jensen kissed him quickly. "And we'll catch up later, if you know what I mean."

"I think I can figure it out," he said with a smile, as he kissed him again for good measure. "See you Cas."

The angel glanced over at him and then skittered away nervously, not looking at Jensen at all.

Once they were alone, Jensen sat on the bed and pulled Castiel over. "Out with it," he said. "What's the problem?"

He wasn't sure Castiel was going to answer. He fidgeted with his hands, before gazing up at Jensen with a slightly helpless look.

"Cas?'

"What if he doesn't want me?" His deep voice was almost a whisper.

Jensen tipped up his face to look him in the eyes. "He wants you. I'm almost sure of it. But I can't promise his own stupid pride and stubbornness won't keep him from acting on it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try." He brushed his thumb lightly across his cheek. "And one thing is for sure, Cas. I want you."

Deep blue eyes peered at him from under dark lashes. "I'm not having sex with you."

Jensen laughed. He couldn't help it. Castiel looked so earnest. He stood up, running his hands though his short hair.

"Is that funny?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Just… you sure know how to deflate a guy's ego."

"I'm sorry. But I belong with Dean. We share a profound bond."

"Which is why we're doing this, remember?" He sat down again next to the angel.

"Of course, I remember. And you are correct. I need to do this. For Dean."

If it wasn't for the fact that he knew Castiel was attracted to him, his self-confidence might have taken a hit. He certainly didn't need any performance anxiety now. "We'll do whatever you want, Cas. If it's too much, just tell me."

"Yes." Almost as if they were conducting a business deal. "But before we do anything I need to heal you."

Jensen had completely forgotten about his injuries. Just discussing them reminded him that they freaking hurt. A lot. Still, he had another idea. "I think we should Indiana Jones this thing. What do you say?"

"I don't understand that reference."

"You know. 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."

"The Ark of the Covenant?"

Jensen nodded. They were finally getting somewhere.

"Yes. I know of it."

"It's a movie."

"Oh. Then, no."

"Never mind. Just follow my lead. First of all, take off your coat and jacket."

The angel did as he asked, looking skeptical. Or worried. Or constipated. He couldn't really be sure which. Then he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Man, was that all kinds of hot. Who knew forearms could be that sexy.

Jensen cleared his throat. "Perfect," he said, motioning for Castiel to sit next to him on the bed.

Once they were settled, he took the angel's hand and placed it on his face. "Now concentrate on healing just one wound at a time."

"That seems ineffective. Why would I do that?"

Jensen sighed. "First of all, you need to trust me, okay? Pain and pleasure mix together sometimes, and it can be arousing."

"I think I understand. That's why the pizza man was spanking the babysitter. She did seem to enjoy it."

"Exactly." He tried not to laugh.

Castiel swept his thumb over the open cut on Jensen's brow, healing it in the process. It felt amazing. The touch was hesitant yet purposeful, and the pain vanished almost instantly, leaving a tingling sensation. Encouraged by the effect it had on Jensen, he continued to the bruise on his cheek. Becoming bolder, Castiel kissed away a bruise on his chin.

Jensen couldn't help the moan that spilled out of his mouth. The angel had no idea how hot he was, and he wanted to escape the slow torture and just push him back on the bed, ravishing his mouth. But there was something to be said for giving up control.

"Lay down on the bed," Castiel demanded, and Jensen bit back moan. The angel was a warrior, strong, freaking hot. Then he preceded to kiss and soothe the pain on each of his cuts and bruises. The painstakingly way he attended to each one cause a different kind of pain for Jensen. His dick was hard and seriously needing some attention. But this wasn't about him; Castiel was running this show.

"Can I kiss you?"

He was still nervous and unsure of himself. Jensen nodded, just short of begging.

The kiss was feathery light, but so full of hope and need and want, that it was as powerful as any kiss he'd experienced. He leaned forward, needing more. Castiel obliged, and the next kiss was firmer. Jensen swept his tongue against his lips, encouraging him to deepen the kiss further. He was a quick learner, and soon they were both kissing each other hard, battling for dominance. The moan from the angel clinched the deal. Nothing could have prepared him for this. It was every man's fantasy. The saint and the sinner rolled into one erotic package. He was going to hell for sure, but he was going to enjoy this heavenly ride.

"Dean…" The gasp from his mouth was unbidden, and they both stopped in surprise. "I apologize…" he continued, still short of breath.

"You can call me Dean if you want," he said. "This is practice, right? Tell him what you want, Cas." A part of him objected. Wanted to hear his name from the angel's lips, but that part could just shut the hell up. This wasn't for him, it was for Castiel. And Dean.

"I'm not sure…"

And for the first time that evening, Jensen took control. Pulling Cas down beside him, he wrapped one hand through his hair and with the other pulled the shirt out of his pants. He slipped his hand under the shirt, relishing the feel of skin against his fingers. He peppered his face with kisses.

"I want you so much, Cas," he said in his best Dean voice, low and husky. "I can't stop thinking about you. Tell me you want this."

"You still have some wounds that are not healed," he said, instead. Jensen wondered if he'd gone too far. "So lay back and be quiet, _Dean_, so I can take care of those for you."

The moment of triumph was quickly overshadowed by the feeling of Cas's tongue on his neck. "Oh, fuck, Cas baby, yes… right there." If he was going to be Dean, then he was going to do it right.

He almost lost it all when he felt Cas sucking on his neck, making bruises of his own. At some point he knew he was going to have to remind his body that he was not having sex with the angel, but he couldn't do it now. Not when he was laying on top of him, grinding….

"Shit… stop!" He pushed Cas off, trying to do it gently, but damn that had hurt. And not in the good way. Sometimes pain was just too much…fucking pain.

But the look on the angel's face had him regretting his decision.

"I did something wrong."

"No, Cas. It wasn't you. I think I hurt my hip in the water fight." He tried to get up, but Castiel pushed him back down, slapping his hands away from the bruise that was visible from the top of his jeans.

"Unless you can heal it, don't touch."

Bossy Cas was definitely hot.

And then he stopped breathing. Castiel pulled the zipper down on his jeans. His pants got tighter still as the proximity of the angel's hand gave hope to his aching arousal. "Please, Cas," he moaned.

"Shh… I'm taking care of it," he said. But they were obviously not on the same page. Castiel pushed the jeans down on his left side, exposing the bruised and angry hip bone. Still, Jensen couldn't complain as his lips traced the bruise, kissing and mouthing the sensitive flesh. The angle he was at caused his chin to nudge his engorged member, and Jensen had a difficult time keeping himself from just humping his face. But that would just scare him away. And no matter what he wanted, Castiel was not ready to give a blow job.

"Is the pain gone?" Cas asked, his breath hot against his skin.

"Mostly," he choked out.

"Where else…" Cas stopped because at that moment, he was directly over Jensen's straining dick. The engorged tip sticking out of the top of his underwear. "Oh…"

"Don't worry about it. Just come back up here…."

"Should I kiss it?" he asked, his voice full of innocence and desire.

Seriously, how was he supposed to be the good guy here? "It won't take away the pain," he choked out, "only make it worse."

But Castiel wasn't listening. Maybe it was all those years of being in a human body and not being able to really do anything. Jensen didn't know, and he was almost past the point of caring. Cas leaned down and kissed the tip, tasting the pre-come. Jensen didn't dare look. Feeling his tongue swirling around the edge was almost enough. But watching would cause him to lose it, right then and there.

"Unless you're ready to give your first blow job, Cas, I think you better get back up here."

"Yes, of course," he said and Jensen could hear the blush in his voice. "I'm sorry. I got carried away. Definitely not ready for that."

Jensen was relieved and frustrated at the same time. "What do you want to do?"

Castiel kissed him again, and he could feel the gratitude mixed in with the desire, and the saltiness. He knew he did the right thing.

"Can I touch you?"

"Of course…" But he wasn't prepared for Castiel's hand reaching under his jeans and underwear. He bucked up into his exploring hand.

Good things really do come to those who wait. Still, fair was fair.

Castiel was laying on top of him, and Jensen kissed him soundly, letting his hand rub against the angel's erection. They were wound up together, rocking into each other's hands when the door opened.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I thought… Never mind."

"Jared," Jensen said between little breaths. "Are you staying or going?"

"I'm not sure." He glanced at the angel, whose face was flushed with desire. "Cas?"

His voice was husky but the message was clear. "Stay."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This is a long author's note so you can skip to the story if you aren't interested in explanations and warnings. I wanted to mention the 'pizza man' reference. Reviewer obsession-is-my-life gets the Hermione award for paying attention. I have to admit, I knew it was from a later season when I wrote it. I thought it was funny, so I used poetic license. I might go back and change i, though. Just thinking about it… it might have been funnier to have Dean make the comment about the pizza man with Castiel responding that he didn't understand what making pizza had to do with sex. Still might go back and change that. As for warnings, the only one I really have for this chapter is rimming. Also I hadn't planned on Jared doing more than watching but turns out the boys had other ideas.

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. Seriously, you guys rock.

Chapter 9

Castiel's gaze never wavered. If Jensen was a lesser man, or had any issues with insecurity, he might have been intimidated by having someone thrust into his hand while staring at another man. In this instance, he found it extremely arousing. Especially since he was fairly sure Castiel was unaware of his actions.

"Tell me what you want, Cas," Jared said, his voice sultry.

There was no way the angel knew what he wanted. Hell, he was barely able to voice his needs before Jared was thrown into the mix.

Castiel's voice was raw and forceful. "Come over here."

Okay, so maybe he did know. And Jensen's dick reacted favorably to that knowledge.

The angel's bravado faded quickly as he nervously licked his lips. "Would you take off your shirt?"

They were still tangled up on the bed, putting Jensen in the unique position of knowing exactly what Castiel found arousing. Jared unbuttoned his shirt as he moved closer, causing a clear reaction. In fact, there seemed to be a direct correlation between the amount of skin Jared exposed and the hardness of the dick in his hand. Jensen fought the impulse to speed up his motions. He wanted to watch the angel come apart, but he also didn't want it to end too quickly. It took every bit of will power he had not to just squeeze a little harder.

Instead he focused on his boyfriend. His pecs and abs ... actually every part of him was glorious. Obviously, Cas could appreciate that as well.

"Can I touch you?" A hint of hesitation was in his voice. At Jared's nod, Castiel moved his hands from Jensen's body. And while he felt the loss, he enjoyed the sight of those fingers now brushing feather light touches across Jared's well defined stomach, hesitating at the waistband, his eyes continuing where his fingers dared not go. He could almost feel the want radiating off of him.

"You're beautiful," Castiel said with a sigh. It would sound cheesy coming from anyone else, but his sincerity was intoxicating. "As are you," he whispered against Jensen's skin, obviously not wanting to leave him out.

"You're not so bad yourself." Jensen winked, causing him to flush an inviting color.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Jared regained their attention, a hopeful look on his face.

"Yes." Again hesitant. Again hot as hell. "But I shouldn't."

Time for a little damage control. "Cas, buddy, he's not Sam."

Castiel glanced at him, his look confused. "I am aware of that."

Jensen shook his head. "No, I mean you don't have to feel guilty about this, because he _is not_ Sam. Not Dean's brother."

He didn't speak again, just nodded. It was all the encouragement he needed.

Jared was careful not to spook him as their lips brushed together. It was sweet and shy, and God he wanted some of that. As soon as they were finished, Jensen tugged on his boyfriend's hand.

"Don't be stingy. Bring some over here." Jared kissed him passionately, letting go of the pent up emotions he was holding in. The barometer in Jensen's hand jumped with interest. He almost lost control at the needy breath escaping from Castiel's lips. Obviously, he liked that.

"Gotta ask. Are you imagining us as Sam and Dean right now?"

Cas glanced away, the blush on his cheeks deepening. It was all the answer Jensen needed.

Damn kinky angels.

They were both staring appreciatively. Castiel was the sinner and the saint all rolled up into one sexy package.

"Do you even know how freaking hot you are?"

Castiel reacted to this by reaching for Jensen and kissing him hard, as if he was finally letting go of his inhibitions… his fear.

It was an important step. Not only was this his first real experience with anything sexual, but he'd been fighting against the feeling that he was somehow betraying Dean by being there with them. Jensen knew this. He could feel it in every action and reaction the angel had. Loosening up. Exploring his sexuality. It was important. If for no other reason than it would give him the confidence he needed to approach Dean.

Castiel deepened the kiss, dragging Jensen into his lap. He pulled his shirt completely off, his hands exploring his chest. Jensen returned the favor, suddenly wanting to know if he had _it_.

The freckle was there, slightly above Castiel's right nipple. He kissed it, memories of kissing Misha in the exact same spot flooding his mind.

Freaky ass parallel universe.

And although they looked exactly alike, there were profound differences between the two. Misha enjoyed sex. There was a hint of playfulness in everything he said and did. Unlike Castiel, whose actions were permeated with a seriousness. Almost as if he was enjoying himself against his will.

The sudden intake of breath reminded him of where he was and who he was with. Castiel had never experienced anything like this, and Jensen owed it to him to be with him, in the present. He flicked the nipple with his tongue, enjoying how responsive the angel was. Taking it into his mouth, he sucked, reducing him to a whimpering mess. Jensen wondered if he would react similarly to having his dick sucked. And while they couldn't do that-it would be too much, too soon, he knew-it didn't stop Jensen from wanting to experience it…

Castiel was urgently rubbing, touching, and mouthing everything within reach, his movements jerky and desperate. Jensen pulled him close, whispering in his ear.

"You okay?" At his nod, he kissed him deeply, trying to calm him down. Slow everything down.

He could feel, more than see, Jared moving away from them. Giving them some space. Castiel must have noticed as well, because he grabbed his hand before he could get away, guiding him on to the bed.

"Are you sure?" Jared asked.

"Yes. I want…" He paused, clearly having difficulty expressing his needs.

"What do you want, Cas?"

"I want to share Dean… I mean not-Dean." He flushed at his slip, but recovered quickly. "Watching you together is very… satisfying. But I also want him. Do you understand? Is that okay?"

"Hell, yes," Jensen said. "More than okay."

He didn't care how he ended up the meat in this sandwich, he was happy to be the main event. It again reminded him of Misha, although _he_ insisted on being in the middle on most occasions. He couldn't think of that. Of him. It wouldn't help Castiel if he had an emotional breakdown in the middle of his first sexual experience.

Instead he focused on the way Castiel was touching him. His hands slipped down Jensen's pants, gripping his ass. Jared was kissing his way down his back. Together they managed to pull his pants completely off, and he worried that maybe they were going past the point of no return.

Jensen buried his face in the angel's neck, breathing in his scent. He felt like he somehow completely lost control of the situation. Jared was instructing Castiel on where to put his hands, and before he knew what was happening, he could feel his cheeks being pulled apart and a tongue at his hole.

Fuck. It was too much. Jared obviously did not get the memo that they were taking it slow with the angel. Not showing him how to _rim_ someone. But he couldn't complain. He couldn't even fucking think to be honest. Between the feeling of Jared's gifted tongue teasing and swiping, and Castiel's heavy breathing, he was too close. Add to that, the angel thrusting against him as he watched, a look that was equal parts innocence and an eagerness to learn, and Jensen couldn't help but completely lose it.

Damn his talented boyfriend.

He wanted to let Castiel get there first. Not lose control like some horny teenager.

As he focused on touching the angel, getting his rhythm back, he used his other hand to fondle his balls, rolling them in his fingers. The sounds Castiel made as he came were primitive, and had Jared quickly following his lead.

Afterwards they collapsed on the bed. The angel insisted on cleaning them all up with a touch of his hand. They were still in various stages of undress. Castiel had on his tie and underwear but nothing else. Jensen had nothing on. Jared was once again wearing his shirt, although it was completely unbuttoned, and that was it.

Castiel seemed to be back to normal. In fact, there was no evidence of shyness or regret. "Thank you both," he said seriously. "This has been very educational."

"Get anything you can use?" Jared sounded genuinely interested, and Jensen smacked his arm.

"Yes, I believe so," he said. "Although I feel I am not ready for that thing you did." They all knew the _thing _he was referring to.

"It's a skill."

"It must take a lot of practice."

"Okay," Jensen said. "Moving on." Were they really sitting there practically nude, calmly discussing Jared's ability to lick his asshole? There was only so much angel-bonding he could take.

"You'll do fine, Cas," he said. "Dean won't know what hit him."

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "I do not believe I will need to resort to violence."

He rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow you'll take us to Balthazar, right?"

"I can take you now if you wish."

Jensen shook his head. "We need sleep, Cas. Lots of it."

"Very well," he said, standing up. Suddenly, he was fully dressed, trench coat and all. "I will return in the morning."

"Wait, before you pop out of here…" Jensen jumped up, guiding the angel to the other side of the room. "Sure you're okay? I mean… are we good?"

"Yes, not-Dean," he said with a small smile. "We are good. Thank you again, for helping me."

"My pleasure." He clapped him on the shoulder. "And I mean literally... my pleasure."

He wasn't even sure Castiel heard him. He'd disappeared without notice. Something Jensen would probably never get used to.

He hurried back to bed and into the arms of his waiting boyfriend. Tonight they would hold each other, recovering from their eventful day. Tomorrow they would confront Balthazar and find their way home.

Back to their time… their place… and their Misha.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Glad I checked preview story because I accidentally posted the wrong chapter 10. Probably no one saw it, but if you did. Sorry! There's only two chapters and an epilogue left of this one. I will also be doing a one shot of Castiel seducing Dean afterwards. Thanks for all the love.

The French Kiss Mistake chapter 10

"So nice of you lot to finally show." Balthazar glared at Castiel before turning his attention to them.

Jensen fought the urge to strangle him. But this wasn't their friend, Sebastian. This angel could do serious damage if he was pissed off. And they needed to play nice to get back home. It was difficult knowing he was responsible for everything they'd gone through. Being torn away from friends, family and Misha. Thrown into this fucked up world. Of course, if he hadn't brought them here, they would have never met Castiel. Something he didn't want to think about right now.

"Balthazar," he said. "Time to explain yourself."

"Of course. Once Castiel leaves we can get down to business."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Jensen couldn't help but notice the way Castiel moved in front of them. Protective-Cas gave him a warm feeling inside. He could also read the determined look on his face. Cas was like an immovable object. And no matter what Balthazar said, the angel was involved in this. He had a right to stay.

"I have to agree with Balthazar," Jared said unexpectedly. "Castiel if you don't mind." It was not said unkindly, but the angel still looked hurt.

Jensen glanced at his boyfriend in surprise. He knew Jared had an idea about what was going on, but he couldn't understand why Cas was being excluded.

"I'm not leaving." Obviously, neither could the angel.

Jared gave Jensen _the_ look, and he rolled his eyes. Why was he always the one who had to smooth things over? Still, he trusted Jared, and if he said Cas had to go, then he had to go.

He pulled the angel aside. "Cas, buddy, look. I don't know what's going on here. I don't. But you need to just let us take care of it." He cringed at his own words. He was sounding more Dean-like every day. Seriously, they had to get out of this freaking place.

"I want to stay."

"I get that, I do. But if Jared says you need to leave then that's what's gotta happen. You trust us right?"

"Yes," he said reluctantly.

"Alright then. Promise me you're not going to listen in. We won't leave without saying goodbye."

"Fine," he said with a grumble. "I promise."

A swoosh of his wings, and he was gone.

Jensen sighed heavily, making his way back to his partner in crime.

"Been playing spin the bottle with the angels, have we? What would Dean say about you messing with his things?"

"Cas isn't a thing, you jackass." He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

"Touchy."

"Could we just get on with it?" Jared was calm as he grabbed Jensen's hand and squeezed reassuringly.

"It's simple really," Balthazar said. "I brought you two here because I don't want to die."

"And how are we supposed to help with that?" He could tell Jared expected his answer, and he was tired of being the only one in the dark.

"Figure it out genius."

Jensen wasn't normally a violent person, but today he wanted to embrace his Dean-like instincts and just gank the asshole.

Balthazar sighed dramatically. "It's obvious, isn't it? I want to know how I died so I can stop it from happening."

"And we're the only ones that can help you," Jared said.

"I tried everyone else. I went to the future and interrogated your imbecilic counterparts. They didn't even know I was dead. They suspected, but they didn't even care enough to know for sure. So I went to the next logical person. My brother, Castiel."

Jensen suddenly knew why Cas was not there. Future Castiel, in his desire to reach God-like status, had killed Balthazar. He'd felt betrayed when his brother had helped the Winchesters, and he'd stabbed him in the back.

This current Castiel didn't know any of this.

"I'm guessing he wasn't too forthcoming?"

"No, he wasn't," Balthazar said. "He told me he didn't know, but I could tell he was lying. And the only reason he would lie is if he had something to do with it."

"How did you figure it out in the first place?" Jensen asked.

The angel didn't respond.

"It was us… or rather Sam and Dean," Jared said.

Jensen was confused. "Wait, I thought they didn't know."

"They didn't," he said to Jensen, before turning to the angel. "So they summoned you, expecting the current Balthazar. Past you showed up instead."

"Give the man a cookie."

"Wait," Jensen said. "That doesn't make sense. If was in the script we'd know it."

"We haven't gotten that script yet. We're only up to where they've summoned Balthazar to help Castiel, who is now human, with an army of fallen angels on his ass."

Not sure it was a good idea to give the angel _all_ that information. But whatever Cat. Bag. Out. Done.

"So let me get this straight. The Winchesters summon you. And since there is no you available, you from the past comes forward. That's one powerful spell."

"Well I was doing some time hopping, just for kicks. Might have something to do with it."

Jensen rolled his eyes. Freaking angels. Didn't know when to stay put and leave things alone.

"I still don't understand. I know everyone else seems to get this but I'm having some trouble. If the Winchesters summoned you. Why did you come to us?"

Balthazar glanced at Jared. "Seriously what do you see in this guy. Obviously hot, with a nice ass but not too bright."

"Explain it to me. Pretend I'm slow."

"Sweetheart, I don't have to pretend," he said. "I told you, I went to the Winchesters. They didn't bloody know. They thought I was still alive. I thought we covered this."

He'd forgotten how cheeky this angel was. "Fine, so you figured it out."

"Not right away, genius. I just wondered why they got me instead of future me. So I went looking around. And guess what. I wasn't there. In any future after 2011. Kind of pissed me off. In my future hopping, I saw Castiel and myself send the Winchesters to TV land, and it gave me the idea. I figured as the actors, you would know, so I did the only thing I could. I knew if I went to your universe, my powers would be diminished or gone completely. I couldn't have that could I? So I brought you here. Everyone caught up now? Can we proceed? Because I'm getting really bored with this."

"Give me an angel blade, I'll take care of that."

"Then how will you get home, sweetheart? Think before you speak. I know you have a brain in there somewhere. Unlike the real Dean."

As Jensen lurched forward, Jared grabbed his arm. "Calm down. Remember the rule. Don't piss off the angels."

"Fine." He threw up his hands and walked away. He'd just have to let Jared take care of it. He couldn't deal with this freaking angel anymore.


End file.
